You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
