UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
