I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
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