she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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