I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
being pregnant is like rehab
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Boobs speak an international language.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
