So drunk its hurt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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