why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
