you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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