Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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