Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
