I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
