hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We got so high we made milksteak
He felt like a one man threesome
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
