After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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