This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
