I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
