We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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