oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
