I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
