I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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