Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
