Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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