Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
