id be glad to
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
