I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
