Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
