But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
