I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
