a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
