And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
