remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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