idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
