i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
