I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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