therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
