if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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