Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
