My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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