sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
