i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
