On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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