babies were throwing up all over the place
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
