Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
