Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
