Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
