How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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