Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
