Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
