I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
These tits shall not be calmed
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
