Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
