We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
