remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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